Being selfish is something good people trying to avoid, isn't it? I have been an un-selfish person for ages. I put lots of effort to help family, friend, boyfriend, and other young Cambodian. It is time now that I lose a lot of energy!!!!! I'm awear that I'm starting to be so weak. When I try so hard to please and care for others, my heart keep telling me "Nana, you haven't care of me enough", therefore, I told my heart back "ok ok, I will put more care for you" while my brain said "But Nana, how can you be selfish?" if you don't answer his phone, you are hurting him.
A sentence said "Put yourself first, you can't be anything for others unless you care for yourself" Nice sentence but how to put it to practice ?
Hi Nana,
ReplyDeleteI used to think the same way. But I've realized that there is nothing wrong to be selfish. If you think about it, everyone is selfish by nature. There is no such thing as a pure act of altruism. Whatever you do, you do it because you want something in return. Take your example, the reason why "you put a lot of effort to help your family and friends" is because it makes you happy. You wouldn't do it if it makes you unhappy, would you?
Now back from digression...You have to know your limit and know how to draw the line. If you feel that you are putting too much effort for others and not for yourself, try this:
First, make two lists: the first is a list of things that you want to do to help others in order of priorities. The second is the list of things you want to do for yourself. Now pick 5 items from the first list and 5 from the second to form a new list. That way you know that you've objectively spent times for yourself and for others (more or less). Of course, the number of items that you pick from both lists can vary.
Hi Proskmeng (what is your name? by the way)
ReplyDeleteThanks you very much for your comment. This is a very clever method. I will do it and see what will happen. I (more or less) have choose to please myself now and start to enjoy a new life with new decision. However, thing keep following me and blame me for hurting a person. Well, as time pass by, i hope thing will be better soon.
Again, thanks you very much
Hi Nana,
ReplyDeleteIt seems impossible to stop people (or things) to blame you. If they still do, that's their problems. If you have made your decision, you shoud not look back ( I know it's hard to not look back ) Do not regret, but assume the responsibility instead. Don't worry, time will heal everything.