First of all, let me say a very big thank you to the APYC organizing committee and IofC international for giving the greatest opportunity to a group of ten Cambodian youth to attend this 15th Asia Pacific Youth Conference which is more than just a conference. This is my third time attending APYC. The first one was in Cambodia in 2004; the second one was in the Philippine in 2007. Each APYC has given me a new chapter of a better and freer life. Being chosen to lead other nine Cambodian youth, I was honored to make this trip an experience of a life time. On July the 31st, I departed from Phnom Penh International Airport to Taiwan with lots of expectations and excitement, but also hesitation. I was not sure how well I would be able to lead the team.
Even before the official opening started, friendship already started to build with participants from different countries; some were old friends. While playing games and getting to know each other with lots of smile, I was also thinking that this was how the world should be. “There is no stranger in the world, only friends we haven’t met”
Each day, the session started with a quiet time and sharing that gave me a really good time connecting to my inner voice. Several questions raised up which reminded me that I should have thought about them more often for a better relationship with people around me including family, friends, teams, co-workers and my romantic relationship. Honest discussions within my family group were the greatest foundation of relationship building. I was inspired by so many people just by listening to their honest life story sharing. While focusing so much on my pain that others gave me, I forgot to care about my contribution to those conflicts. I got to realize that “I too was wrong” and I should apologize to those who got hurt by me. In one of my quiet time, my inner voice told me that I too was wrong in breaking up with my ex-boyfriend. At night I wrote him a letter of apology (via e-mail) to ask for his forgiveness.
Listening to other people’s sharing, I have learned that lots of relationship can be fixed if we are willing to change and have the courage to take action. The power of oneself is so strong that it can change the world. “As I am, so is my nation.” I was inspired by the I CARE campaign which was presented by IofC Korea to create “Phnom Penh, I CARE” project in Cambodia. I believe in the four steps of change; (1) Change myself, (2) Engage others, (3) Create answers, and (4) Give hope to humanity. Living in a developing country like Cambodia, many young people lose hope and give up; therefore, actions have to be taken. If not me, who? However, while caring for others and my country, I know that I also have to care for myself. I wrote in the decision making card, “Myself, I Care.” One a month I will take a half day off alone on Saturday morning and this decision will be implemented from August to December this year.
There were many songs that inspire all of us. One of the song was about how war started and the answer “fighting for who is right”. Cambodian and Thai have been fighting for who is right for many decades. We claim that our history is right and therefore their history is wrong. What did we get from that kind of argument, peace or war? People have different perspective, but this should be our search “not for who is right, but what is right” IofC Cambodia has no answer of who is right, but we know that what is right to do is to have a real dialog between the two team. We believe that people will never understand each other if they don’t take time to share what they think. The theme of this APYC is Challenge, Choice, and Change. There are many challenges we are facing to make this exchange program possible such as: history, funding, politic, social perspective, and more but we don’t choose to give up. Gandhi said that “when we are fighting for a good course, people will pop up and support us” Our choice will be: “by the end of this year, the 1st Cambodia-Tai Exchange Program will be held in Cambodia.” We know that this is the right thing to do, and the change we are creating is positive.
Every human being has their own history. Some parts of their histories were enjoyable while some were painful. I too had a painful history but I have been pretending to be strong and hiding my weakness for four years. The last day of APYC, I finally opened it up and to be weak as I should. However, my tears were a new start of being a real and strong me. I was so proud of myself. Others who had painful history were of course not proud of it, but the most important thing is who we really are after those mistakes. All those painful experiences were the greatest lesson which we can never learn from any university.
Being a leader is what my life is for. I love leading people and I thought I was good and strong enough to handle everything on my own. This APYC allow me to look at myself and realize that a step back is needed. There have to be places where people should enjoy my leadership, and there have to be places where I should enjoy other’s leadership. Even if I thought I was a good leader, I realized that I was not a good follower yet. The engine of my soul becomes weaker and if I don’t fix it, it will break.
I was overwhelmed by the warmest care from the organizing committee. I know saying “thanks you” alone is not enough. Many thanks for the financial support from IofC Austria, Taiwan, Julie, and friends of ICA who made our trip possible. From a deepest of my heart, I ensure you that I am and will be using the best of what I have learned from APYC for the benefit of Cambodia and the world.
Phnom Penh, 12th August, 2009
