Thursday 2 August 2012

7 Minutes Drive of FEAR


What is Freedom? Typical question which students and scholar in the field of social science would ask. I have attended a two weeks seminar at International Academy for Leadership in Germany in May last year. After that two weeks seminar plus the 5 years work with a foundation which works on freedom, the concept of Freedom was quiet clear to me; yet, last night was the real life meaning of Freedom I found.

At my show last night, a caller asked about the field of agriculture which he wish to study as a degree after he finish high school soon; however, he has been told that in 2015 ASEAN will be integrated which mean the competition for job market will be higher too. He heard from other people that Cambodian student won’t be able to compete with the neighboring countries which have exported more agriculture to international market than us. So his question was “Should he choose this field while knowing that he might not be able to compete with others?”

As a counselor, I did my job giving him advice and motivation. I encouraged him to try best in school and gather practical experiences. One thing was it was difficult for me to keep the truth. The truth that our quality of education is lower than the neighboring countries. Even if Cambodia was blessed by good quality of land, good weather, and good climate; but the corruption of this country has made all these blessing qualities; more or less, almost useless because they benefits more to the investors and the rich. So I automatically said worlds like “corrupted system, poor leadership of the government, deforestation” and nearly to the end of my respond to his caller, I talked (on air) to my co-host that I should stop now or I might not be able to do the show the next day.

My dad who was listening from home called my brother who was waiting for me at the radio station immediately that he would pick me up with a car, instead of we coming back home with our usual motorbike because it not gonna be safe tonight. Unfortunately, the car key is locked and our shop so my dad could not pick me up. So by the end of the show last night, I came back home on a motorbike with my brother as usual. This was when I clearly define FREEDOM. My brother drove much faster than the usual and I had to use more than two eyes to watch out to see if anybody was following us. As soon as any motorbike that drove fast across us, we were scared to death. Once we arrived home, my brother in law was waiting at the door. It was a “7 minutes drive of fear”

Was I just being too afraid to express what I think?
Well, while I was speaking, No I wasn’t scare and I didn’t want to lie.

Did anybody threaten me?
No. Not at all. Never.

So why my family and I were so scare?
The facts that I have seen many violent acts on Cambodian citizen on the land dispute issues. The facts that our leaders (both from the governing parties and the opposition parties) attacked even just by words to each other like enemy using gangster words to not just on political element but also on individual. The facts that some people/activities were arrested for what they have said. The facts that polices could be beating us rather than protecting us.

All these facts scared me. This feeling of fear has limited my Freedom. It measured how free I am living now under this standard of “Democracy” What does freedom mean when I was scared to death just because I said something on air?

I wrote this down to express my rate of freedom but also if I have traffic accident or any danger in the following days, you would know why? :-) And now I am thinking, Should this article be posted? Well yes, it worth spreading.